"These are in the majority male concepts? No? War, violence, destruction, c0ck… they hit you in the face… I get it."

I wish to apologise for hitting anyone in the face with c0ck last Friday. Normally my wife provides some sort of restraining influence but it seems I'm guilty of harbouring a wayward member. In future I shall endeavour to keep him safely trousered. I certainly was not aware of this indiscretion nor was it deliberate. But if there is one thing this debate highlights it is that good intentions count for naught.

I further wish to offer apology to anyone who was inadvertently struck by the ladypart which featured in last Friday's performance. I say 'struck' by a ladypart, although on consideration the violence of this term may be gender inappropriate. Perhaps 'stroked' is better.

I intend this metaphorically of course – no ladypart was visible from my vantage point thanks to some judicious staging from Mr Hassell and his fine company of actors (I employ the term 'actor' advisedly in its modern cross-gender sense). I can assure you, had a ladypart been visible, I would have been cognisant of such. Being a man of considerable experience in this field, I have a nose for these things.

Lest any confusion arise, the field to which I refer is theatre.

And thank goodness I say, for where would we be if ladyparts were visible on the theatrical stage? Germany, no doubt. Or the Royal Court Theatre Upstairs which is much the same thing. This may of course change during this evening's performance. As has been noted, the Factory is a young company, and I believe it unwise to smother the fires of experimentation with the sterile safety blanket of propriety.

I have endeavoured to keep this thread as on topic as possible by taking my lead from its title and 'missing the point' entirely.

Yours,

Mr J. Donnelly, BA (Hons)

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